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Communication (My thoughts) | Tuesday, October 31, 2006


Communication is an essential part of our lives and yet it seems to be one of the most neglected part in our lives at least in my life. I realise that whenever there are uncomfortable issues arising that will result in conflicts, quarrels or simply unpleasantness, my tendency is wait for it to blow off or for the other party to cool down and then if they wanted to talk about it, then we will settle it. If not, if the other party did not bring the issue up again, I will definitely not bring it up again.
However, without knowing it myself until someone points it out to me, that I have presented myself as someone who tends to hide from the issues and that it kinds of making the other person frustrated when she wants to talks aboout the issues and my response is more like keeping quiet and a lot of "never minds." To her, I m like suppressing all my anger and resentments inside and not wanting to talk it out and that she is frightened by this kind of attitude because she will not know when i wpould blow up on her and I do see her point. To my way of thinking at least, it's not that I don't see no point in talking avout the issue, but rather, I am not so articulate to express my views and thoughts about it and this happened a few times before in my life and thus, it leaves me very frustrated. The more i tried to express, I found myself complicating the issues and as a result, the other party misunderstood my points and it resulted that I have to spend a lot of effort to clear up the misunderstanding which leaves me very tired. Therefore, I find it easier to keep quiet and give the issue a deeper thought and then if need to, then perhaps it's easier to share but if they did not bring it up, then it also saves me the hassle of explaining myself and my stand on certain issues. However, it also does present myself as uninterested to solve the issues which I think to myself it's not true.
Another reason why we will miscommunicate is because we assume the other party's thoughts and so, it results that i am not listening to her but that I am thinking what she might be thinking. Maybe one of the reasons I do not communiate is that I find there are many issues arising where I find myself in a defensive position and it gets me very tired of having to defend myself and so, i just keep quiet. Like yesterday, when i was washing my cousin's car together with him, he mentioned about our area leader's concerns about me wanting to go to China perhaps with an impure motive, I was instantly offended but i just kept quiet, not wanting to say more about this issue. However, I was hurt that he who is my closest brother and friend did not defend me or does not seem to understand my position but I do not wish to pursue and too tired to pursue, so i just kept quiet. However, he knows i m offended and angry and tried to ask me about it but being me, i sort of brushed him off. Maybe that area of my life I need to change but I found it easier to live in this way. So this is my thoughts about communication and maybe i will start thinking whether we will lose our identity and independence when we are dating the next time i post my blog.
Created at 9:23 AM

Communication? | Sunday, October 29, 2006


Communication is an essential part of our lives and yet it seems to be one of the most neglected part in our lives at least in my life. I realise that whenever there are uncomfortable issues arising that will result in conflicts, quarrels or simply unpleasantness, my tendency is wait for it to blow off or for the other party to cool down and then if they wanted to talk about it, then we will settle it. If not, if the other party did not bring the issue up again, I will definitely not bring it up again.
However, without knowing it myself until someone points it out to me, that I have presented myself as someone who tends to hide from the issues and that it kinds of making the other person frustrated when she wants to talks aboout the issues and my response is more like keeping quiet and a lot of "never minds." To her, I m like suppressing all my anger and resentments inside and not wanting to talk it out and that she is frightened by this kind of attitude because she will not know when i wpould blow up on her and I do see her point. To my way of thinking at least, it's not that I don't see no point in talking avout the issue, but rather, I am not so articulate to express my views and thoughts about it and this happened a few times before in my life and thus, it leaves me very frustrated. The more i tried to express, I found myself complicating the issues and as a result, the other party misunderstood my points and it resulted that I have to spend a lot of effort to clear up the misunderstanding which leaves me very tired. Therefore, I find it easier to keep quiet and give the issue a deeper thought and then if need to, then perhaps it's easier to share but if they did not bring it up, then it also saves me the hassle of explaining myself and my stand on certain issues. However, it also does present myself as uninterested to solve the issues which I think to myself it's not true.
Another reason why we will miscommunicate is because we assume the other party's thoughts and so, it results that i am not listening to her but that I am thinking what she might be thinking. Maybe one of the reasons I do not communiate is that I find there are many issues arising where I find myself in a defensive position and it gets me very tired of having to defend myself and so, i just keep quiet. Like yesterday, when i was washing my cousin's car together with him, he mentioned about our area leader's concerns about me wanting to go to China perhaps with an impure motive, I was instantly offended but i just kept quiet, not wanting to say more about this issue. However, I was hurt that he who is my closest brother and friend did not defend me or does not seem to understand my position but I do not wish to pursue and too tired to pursue, so i just kept quiet. However, he knows i m offended and angry and tried to ask me about it but being me, i sort of brushed him off. Maybe that area of my life I need to change but I found it easier to live in this way. So this is my thoughts about communication and maybe i will start thinking whether we will lose our identity and independence when we are dating the next time i post my blog.
Created at 10:06 PM

  
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