Difference of Ideas | Saturday, February 25, 2006
DIFFERENCE OF IDEAS
When it comes to cellgroup, relationship, character and many other things, it was rather a shock to me when I realised that I have very different ideas with the person I love. I admitted that there are times that I was very complacent when it comes to cellgroup because I have a tendency to assume that the people I lead are cellgroup leaders in the past or interns or that they held leadership positions in the past, and so, they are capable of taking care of themselves. I failed to take note that they too are people with needs of their own and that they need people to pray for them as well as to support them either in prayer or encouragement. In fact, I even thought that even if I was not around, the cellgroup could run on its own and so, I don't think I have developed a pastoral heart for my group because of my assumptions and mainly because of my character, which was not pastoral in the first place.
It was precisely this when we had our differences. She felt that as the shepherd of the group, I should show some care and concern for my sheep especially for the younger ones. She was right in pointing out about my limitations and she also said that even in the group, I could give my sheep responsibility such as events co-ordinator, treasurer and many others instead of a duty-roster as in who is doing praise and worship. Maybe I am one who really don't know how to express myself well verbally, and I definitely cannot use this as an excuse, but to my limited mind, I really have no idea as to choose the person to be either the events co-ordinator, treasurer and even how to appoint persons to be accountable to one another. I always have this idea that if you want to be accountable, you find your own accountability group and also if you have problems, you can call me and I definitely will pray for you. Maybe this is really a lazy way but this is what I am normally accustomed to when I was leading Rophe and maybe this style of leadership starts from there. For her, she felt and I don't disagree with her, that I need to find people who are in pain but cover it up for legitimate reasons, and talk to them instead of them coming to me for they would never come to me to show that I care and I find them in pain and come to them to see what I can do to help them be it in prayer or even a word of encouragement. This is precisely what Jesus would have done and yet, I in my complacent state did not do what my Teacher would have done.
Of course, I felt quite uncomfortable when she pointed all these to me albeit in a gentle way, because she wanted the best for me but it could be quite shocking to discover my limitations pointed out so accurately from someone I have always admired and loved for about a decade. Obviously, when she pointed all these out to me, I was of course defensive and naturally wanted to defend myself in a bid to show her that I was not that bad as she may have thought and that I did not see my cellgroup in that perspective before and of course, we had conflicts.
After some time of reflection and prayer, I knew deep in my heart that she was right and that makes it all the more painful. It also brought me the realisation that we would always have differences and that we would always have conflicts and maybe in that way, we tend to irritate each other. That is probably why God created one another so different because that is probably the way we can grow and complement one another for what is lacking in their lives. If we know how to handle the conflicts and difference of ideas well, I believe greatly that it will only bring benefits for one another but if not, it would end up in quarrels, insults, unhappiness and maybe even divorce. All of us need the grace of God on how to express our views gently, especially me, when I am a person with very high defensive walls and that I speak without thinking, so that I would not wound and hurt the person I have always love and will always love and so teach me Lord in Your gentle way, how to be a good shepherd with good listening ears and sensitive to You and to the people. Teach me how to love as You have loved us with Your perfect love. Even so, Lord, I need You. Amen.
Created at 10:53 AM
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Name: Joseph Chia
Age: 28
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