Love=Liking? | Wednesday, November 02, 2005
LOVE=LIKING?
Throughout my teenage years, I always thought that if I like someone, that is love. If I like her and she likes me, everything will work out well in the end or even worse, we deem it to be a part of God's plan that she is the One whom God has prepared for me. As I grew older, I think I became wiser (haha) for I have seen many sad cases whereby one party would be left heart-broken when their boyfriends or girlfriends broke up with them, citing too many times where their love for them has diminished, die off or simply they no longer felt anything for them. Even worse, some were the cases where they declared to their friends that God has made them to be together months earlier and now, they have broke off, citing irreconcilable differences whereby they would blame God for their failure to be together. No wonder, people would feel skeptical when they heard anyone declaring to the world that God has caused them to be together for 9 out of 10 times, they have seen these kind of relationships deteriorated, finally leading to a break-up.
As for me, I now believe that there is no one "special" waiting for you in this life. I believe firmly that you are the one who chooses to be in a relationship and so, both have the responsibility to cause the relationship to plant and water and God will cause it to grow. We must do our part and then God will does His part but a lot of times, we don't put in any effort and we just expect God to bless us in this relationship and cause it to grow or more likely, waiting for the relationship to sustain itself. It won't happen and so we should not be surprised if that relationship don't work out for we never put any effort in the first place. We also should not credit ourselves with how many "compromises" we have made for the other party to enjoy this relationship. Truth be told, every party in a relationship does compromise but the real question is that sometimes, you feel unfair when you feel that your boyfriend/girlfriend don't compromise as many as you do and so, you want to break off this relationship. I believe that God is never exacting towards us and that He chooses to love us even though we may not love Him as much as He does love us. Love always requires sacrifices and God sacrificed His only Son for us and that is surely not a compromise. That should be our example towards a relationship with the one whom we declared to him or her that we loved them so very much. Let our words not be a meaningless sound-good kinds of feelings but it requires action to prove them. If I say I love a girl, I will sacrifice my comfort zone and does things which I would never do and never like doing in the first place, to please her and never see it as a compromise but rather as a sacrifice. If I see it as a compromise, I would want her to repay in kind but if it is a sacrifice, I don't need her to repay back in kind nor do I have the right to expect.
That is very different from liking for if I like someone, I would and rightly expect her to like me as much as I like her. However, there is this girl whom I love very much and I know it deep in my heart, that even if she doesn't love me as much as I do, I choose to love her and wait for her even if she has rejected me at least twice for that is my love for her even though she may not love me back. I also believe that we cannot say the words "Let's break out" so easily in any relationship for that have the power to wound and destroy the bond that both of you have so painstakingly built up. I would not say this sentence and if I hear my greatly beloved say this, I will be heart-broken and I will treat it as real and would let the relationship wither and to die off. Be very careful of what you say for there is power in the words, to heal or to wound and no man can tame the tongue found in the book of James.
Love is not liking and liking can never be equaled with love for Love is always and should be placed in a higher ranking than liking. God loves us and let's follow His example to love one another even though some of them are clearly unlikeable. That is our Lord's teaching that "by this shall all men know that you are My disciples if you love one another." Amen.
Created at 12:28 AM
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Name: Joseph Chia
Age: 28
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